Saturday, February 9, 2013

Under the Weather


The past week has been difficult as I find myself suffering from some strange illness.

For the past few weeks, I have had headaches with some regularity, but now they've been joined by a collection of more troubling symptoms.  What's more, over-the-counter remedies don't seem to have much affect.  Thus I have felt too poorly to do much investigating.

Mostly I have laid in my bed, partially awake in a sort of fevered delirium.  I am sure many of you have experienced something similar-- an out of body feeling, as if watching yourself try to sleep.

Worse yet, I have found that my focus when in this state is on the door to my bedroom.  For some reason, my mind, though not in a fully functional state, seems to expect something to come through it at any moment.  I am just partially aware of this fixation during the night (given my general comatose), but I recall the sensation of being deathly afraid after I wake.

In the light of day, I am of course embarrassed by my subconscious's childish fear.  But each night brings the same, primal apprehension.  I am hoping it is nothing more than the product of an elevated temperature, but I swear I vaguely remember creaking sounds the past two nights.  This has caused me more grief than I care to admit.

Rolling over on my side to avert my gaze from the door hasn't been successful, either.  I must be involuntarily pitching on to my back again during the night to assist in breathing.

To help me literally rest assured, I've decided to setup a tape recorder tonight and see if I am imagining the sound.  I will let you all know the results tomorrow.

Until next time...